She’s Going To Be A Great Mom

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This Is How We Roll

 TG and I are babysitting Little Boss this weekend. Little Boss came with toys. TG was familiar with one of them. Observe; Wait! Chili! Make sure you don’t have Ovaltine in your mouth when you watch! Okay, here goes;

 Sorry about my unsteady hand. I couldn’t stop laughing. And further testing shows that it will say the “C” word. Also, for the record, the kid was in bed fast asleep.

Lesbian Take Two

Please disregard my previous post.

If you have some time to kill, this one is pretty funny too. I call The Girl Luv Muffin but I don’t mean it that way.

She’s A Lesbian

 A FB friend sent me this yesterday. Thought I would share.

Ten

1. The wedding plans are coming along nicely and everything is falling into place. We decided on the venue on Saturday. A woman I work with offered up her house on a local island for cheap money. Her home is beautiful and the views are great. There is tons of deck space and we are setting things up so that everyone will be able to see the ceremony.
2. The above-mentioned woman is a single mom of three, all of which are in college. Ugh. As a result, she has a roommate to help with the bills. He is a chef. Can you take it? What are the chances of that?! As you may recall, we are having a morning ceremony with breakfast. Chef Dude launches into his resume and after listing off the fancy places he has worked, I had to stop him. I explained that I wanted greasy home fries with onions and asked him if he could do that. He said he could then started talking about the fruit and asked about how we wanted it presented. I told him a bowl would be fine. His face dropped a bit and he asked if he could hollow out a watermelon and do something nice with it. I was about to tell him not to worry about it but then I realized I was stifling his creativity. Then he started on the eggs. I explained that I want greasy home fries, maple bacon, plain eggs, and good coffee. Whatever he wants to do above that is totally up to him. We further insulted him by telling him he could get pastry from B.J’s if he wanted. He said he knows people and will get us really nice pastry. Whatever but don’t forget to put onions in my home fries.
3. We are just simple people and do not need any extravagant stuff. In fact, I think we are going with bamboo plates and cutlery, which can be composted. I was hoping O’mama or my friend Lime Green will take it. We try to be kind to the earth.
4. I think I asked Chili to make the cake. If not, Chili? Will you make the cake? Maybe two or three. One the chocolate one I love and two of your choosing? Pretty please?
5. Also Chili, may we use your Cambridge Soundworks speakers with the subwoofer? The music will be provided by my Itunes library run wirelessly via my Iphone. If not, I’ll be heading to the Bose store and will have no hard feelings about it.
6. There is a ton more wedding stuff but I won’t gag you anymore.

      7.  

My Knee. So sad.

 

   Did you know I fractured my own leg? Yup, it’s true. Apparently, it is not a good idea for someone who hasn’t ran since high school to run 120 miles in 6 weeks. My bad. I started PT today and hope to be back at the gym by this time next month.   

    8. I am once again facing unemployment. The grant that funds my program ends in June and we haven’t heard if we will be re-funded. I feel like it’s time to move on from the agency anyway so I am not that bummed. 

    9. I got an email two weeks ago stating that I had not been accepted into Grad school and that my application was incomplete. Turns out they sent me the email in error. How do I know that? I called to plead with them to put me on the waiting list. The nice lady told me that the program I was applying for was still accepting applications and that the received everything they needed. If I could have jumped for joy, I would have. I should know by next week. Keep me in your thoughts, would ya? 

    10. iliketodothistopissmysisterbciamthelittlesisteranditismyjobtobeapunkassjerkilovehertho.

Dear Moms

 I hope you don’t get any of this today;

 Happy Mothers Day!