We Can’t All Be Wrong

25 03 2010

   My trip to the doctor yesterday did not go as well as I had hoped. I got in there, took off my shoes and got on the scale.  137.

   I immediately told the nurse that the scale was wrong.

 She brings me in the room and begins taking my blood pressure. I tell her that I have been exercising and eating better. I tell her that according to my calculations I weigh 132. She tells me that I have gained two pounds since my last visit in November but please, please don’t get frustrated and stop exercising. I tell her that I enjoy going to the gym and I have no plans to stop. She then tells me that everyone says the scale is wrong.

 Well what the fuck lady! If we all say the same thing, don’t ya think it might be a good idea to get your stupid scale checked?

 When the doctor comes in, I tell him all about his broken scale. He tells me it’s a $600 scale. I tell him that you don’t always get what you pay for and to get that thing calibrated.

 I tell him all about my diet and exercise. I tell him that I am sure I am losing weight. I tell him that I would have bet money that my weight gain was due to my Hashimoto’s disease and that my Thyroid was off. He tells me that my Thyroid levels were fine.

 Well if I am doing what I need to do, and my levels are fine, what could the common denominator be?

 How about your broken scale, asshole.

 You know what he says then? He suggests that maybe it’s muscle mass. I think he is in cahoots with my enabling sister.

  I tell him that prior to last year, my normal range was between 122 and 127. I tell him that so far, I have only been doing cardio so his muscle mass theory is out. He tells me he wants to see me again in three months and that he wants more blood work. He then gets up, sticks his head out the door and yells down the hall that I am coming back in three months, could someone make sure the scale is fixed by then?

 That’s what I thought!

 All the blood work is Hashimoto’s related. Clearly he is not convinced that my last tests were accurate. I still think it’s his scale.

The Trouble With Sports Bras

22 03 2010

I had a conversation with Chili in January of last year. I told her that I had gained five pounds and that I though it was due to all the shoveling I had been doing because you know, muscle weighs more than fat.

My sister usually can see right through my shenanigans but this time, she went along with it.

At my physical last November, the doctor added five more. The nerve! In addition, my cholesterol was up a bit. The good kind was good but still he said I needed to be proactive. I was sure it was my Thyroid that was causing the weight gain.

Not. So. Much.

I was told to lose three pounds in three months and come on back to see him. Since I did NOTHING (except drink one mocha latte a week instead of one or two a DAY. I thought for sure the pounds would just go away…) to lose the weight, I rescheduled last months appointment for this week so I had some time to drop a few pounds.

Don't even talk to me about incline!

When I joined the gym in February, I had put on two more pounds. According to the condescending bitch on WII Fit, my BMI is still normal so things are not so bad. Ask my pants and they will tell you a different story.

So away I go at the gym. The first two weeks were hell but I pushed on. Now I look forward to going and I really enjoy it. Today I ran four miles in 43 minutes. Last week I could only run just over three. Unfortunately my right foot is killing me now which pisses me off because I only have two days left to lose the weight. Ugh! So far I have lost four but since the doc wanted three and I gained two extra I’m still off the mark. WTF!

Do you go the gym? Can you tell me why people try to talk to me while I am running with earphones in? Also, I am wondering why when there are only three people on the twenty or so treadmills, people have to take the one right next to me. And FYI lady, coming to the gym to flirt with the dude that works there really doesn’t count as “going to the gym”. Ask for his number and cancel your membership because you are wasting your money.

In addition to the exercise, I have been eating better. I eat a banana (kizz loves banana’s!) and a bowl of Cheerios for breakfast. I never ate breakfast but I am told that it is good for my metabolism. I also am eating lunch every day now. Before working out I could care less about eating. In fact it aggravated me because it meant that I had to stop what I was doing to eat. Now I look forward to eating.

In other news, because I bet you don’t give a shit about my increased girth, T.G. is still out of work. In fact, the new workman’s comp case manager said they didn’t expect her back until the first of May. T.G. didn’t take that so well and is convinced she will be back next week. Not for nothing but she has been saying that since the day of her fall. She is an optimist and I just let her go on thinking whatever she needs to make herself feel better.

In other, other news, Two Blue Day has new digs. Check him out at Dreamtime.

Oh, and the trouble with sports bras is that for them to be effective, they need to be tight. When they are tight, it is really hard to breath . It’s tough to be me.

Photo credit

Well Ok Then

1 03 2010

 We have a lot of rain around here in the last week. Perhaps boots might come in more handy.

 Rubber boobs would have been useful in the wind storm we had on Thursday night. If one had rubber boobs and was blown over, one would just bounce back up!