Get comfortable people. This is going to be a long one.
I have always been someone who keeps my dating adventures (or in the past couple of years, mis-adventures) to myself until I get a sense of where the relationship will go. I never dated a lot so when I did, the questions from my loving peeps came fast and furious. Most of the questions I didn’t have an answer for, so, I decided a long time ago that it would be best if I just kept it to myself for a bit. It always worked out to be about a month or so before I would tell my peeps I had been dating someone new. This system worked very well for me. Well, maybe not so well because none of the relationships turned out to be the “one”, but I think you get my drift.
When I look back, I can see how the universe has laid everything out perfectly for me. Let me explain;
I was talking to Auntie Teacher a couple of weeks ago, just shooting the shit. We go on and on about school, work, her broken thermostat in her car, blah, blah, blah when she asks me what’s going on in the dating department. Since I will not lie, even by omission, I tell her that, as a matter of fact, I am going to meet up with a girl next week. I had no plan of sharing this info, but since she asked, I told her. The universe was already at work and was shouting at me to do things differently this time.
“Where are you taking her?”
“I’m not taking her anywhere! We are meeting at Starbucks to hang out and have coffee!”
Notice the ‘tude I had with my peep? That was my way of saying that it was not a date, it was hanging out. Although she seemed really nice, easy to talk to, and not a weirdo, I felt the need to continue to not quiet cross over the “date” line. Auntie Teacher, being the amazing and supportive friend that she is, in a very calm voice simply said;
“OK, let me know how it goes.”
Fast forward to the next day when I am driving in to work with Boss. She’s talking and talking about the boys in her life, the kids, the job, blah, blah, blah, when she asks me what’s going on in the dating department.
What the fuck people, get out of my head!
So I give her the scoop.
“What’s her name?”
“Her name is __________, but until further notice, she will be refered to as ‘the girl’!”
“OK Auntie, calm down. We’ll call her “the girl” if it makes you feel better. So tell me what you know about her.”
So for the rest of the ride in I tell Boss what I know; she’s 32, a SPED teacher, two sisters, two nieces and a nephew, she likes to read, wants to have kids (this is a deal breaker for me. I wouldn’t have bothered going out with her if she didn’t.), is in school, likes to go camping, and been single for enough time to get over her ex. I go on to say that it seems like we have a lot in common, including our personal beliefs, values, and how we view the world and that I am “cautiously optimistic.”
So, the girl and I talk and email before we go to “hang out”. We actually had planned to meet up earlier but because of both of our schedules, we were practicly killing ourselves to me mindful of each others time. She has work and school, I have work and school. Typically if a girl said to me “Hey, sounds like you have a busy day, why don’t we plan on another day” I would have thought she was trying to back out of the date hanging out. With the girl though, I only felt like she was being understanding and respectful of my time. We planned for Tuesday.
She was already at Starbucks when I got there. When I walked in and saw her sitting there, her sparkling eyes and warm welcoming smile made me feel right at home. When I sat down and we started talking, it felt like I was meeting up with an old friend. I knew instantly that this was going to be different.
It was easy to talk to her. She put me so at ease that I could just be myself. She talked, I listened. I talked she listened. We laughed, we smiled, I realized that I could not let this girl go with out asking her out again.
No way, no how.
I stopped listening and started thinking about exactly how I was going to ask her out again. Don’t worry, I have already apologized to her for not being a good listener and she accepted.
When it was time to go, I told her that I really enjoyed myself and I wanted to see her again if she was up for it. She said she was and we made plans to hang out go on another date on Sunday.
I told her I would call her in a couple of days. She said OK and we parted ways.
I got in the car, thought that I was a moron for saying I would call her in a couple of days because I wanted to call her tomorrow. Since I said it I had to stick to it.
From there I drove to Boss’s office. I walked in, Boss took one look at me and said “Oh boy, Auntie!! It went well!! Tell me all about it! I am so excited for you!” while bouncing on her toes and clapping her hands.
The girl and I talked on Thursday. We kept each other up WAY past our bedtimes. Friday morning I sent Boss a text message that said “Boss, I really like __________.” The next time I talked to Boss, she said that she new that the girl was different because I used her name and that she was really happy for me. She also said it was about fucking time I met someone.
In the interest of time (I have to get ready for work), I am turning this post into a Ten Things Tuesday;
1. I asked the girl permission to blog about her, she said yes. She wanted to know when I was planning on introducing her to you all and I told her when I could come up with a pseudonym for her. I told her that I was planning on starting the story as “the girl.” She said she liked it and wanted to be referred to as the girl. I explained that to me, “the girl” was not really a term of endearment. She maintained that she liked it though. At that, Chili came to mind. Chili has what she calls capital “G” girlfriends. I told the girl that I would start by calling her “the girl” and then as the story went on, she would become “The Girl” with caps. The Girl said that she liked that so from this point forward, she is The Girl.
2. Chili elluded to The Girl in this post. I understand what she meant when she wrote “and it’s about time” but it is VERY important to note that before The Girl, I was happy. The truth is I love my life and didn’t feel like I was lacking anything. Sure, I wanted a partner but I did not need one, per say. The Girl and I have talked extensively about this and we are both in agreement that neither one of us was looking for someone to “complete” each other.
3. The Girl and I are also in agreement that a big piece of why this is working out is because we came into it from a very healthy place in our lives both emotionally and spiritually. We have both done a lot of work to get here and we have made a commitment to continue to nurture ourselves first. I have always maintained that I can’t give away what I don’t have. When I take care of myself, the people in my life also reap the fruits.
4. When telling SLM1 about The Girl, she said that she was so happy for me and she could tell something was different. That meant a lot to me because I am being very mindful to do this differently. The old ways just didn’t work. Everything about this is different and that is a good thing.
5. I very quickly developed feelings for The Girl. I struggled with wanting to take things slow but at the same time, trust my heart. Both Chili and SLM1 reminded me that I am in a place in my life where I can trust myself and that I will know exactly what to do. Thank you ladies, you were right. If you had asked me a few weeks ago if I would be in this place with The Girl, I would have said no. Today though, I can say that I am trusting myself and following my heart. Everything about this is right and I am exactly where I want and need to be.
6. I have made up my mind not to be scared about this. I have already had some feelings from my past that have come up. The Girl and I are talking them out. I trust her enough to allow myself to be vulnerable. I am pleased to say that the couple of times I have had scary feelings, I was given the space I needed to deal, and the respect of being heard and validated. Because of this I have come full circle from being afraid and throwing a wall up to moving through my shit in a healthy way. I have said it to The Girl already, but I would like to say it to her again here; Thank you.
7. Before the second date happened, I knew I wanted The Girl to meet my peeps, and more importantly, my family. This is HUGE for me. How huge, you ask? Well, let me tell you that the last woman I dated NEVER MET MY FAMILY. We dated for 6 months… The Girl has met some of my peeps (and was very well received!) and will meet the fam soon.
8. Last night with the fam, I asked Punkin and Bean if they wanted to meet The Girl. Punkin was all about it but Bean said “not really”. Bean couldn’t explain why though. I told her that that was fine and I wouldn’t bring her up until she was ready. Chili made a funny face about it and I made it clear to her that I was going to honor Beans feelings. When I told The Girl about it, she said that she absolutely did not want to meet Bean until she was ready. That’s just fucking awesome.
9. The Girl does not like baseball. I told her that I didn’t need her to like baseball but how do you feel about the Yankees?
” I don’t have an opinion about them.” she said
“Wrong fucking answer! They suck! That is all I need you to know about baseball!”
She laughed and said “I would be happy to watch baseball with you. It’s not really about what I’m doing, it’s who I am doing it with that is important.” (TBD, take a page from her book and go to a fucking baseball game with me, would ya?!)
The next morning she called me and said that she had done some research and then proceeded to tell me that the rilvery between the Sox and spankies started with the trade of The Babe. She continued to tell me about it but I didn’t hear a word because I was so in awe of that seemingly small gesture. Wow.
10. The Girl was going to Dunks and asked me if I wanted a bagel. You should know that The Girl is Pretty health conscience.
“What would you say if I said I wanted a donut?”
“I would say; Do you want sprinkles on that?”
Wow again!
The Girl has already been to my blog and has been poking around a bit. She was reluctant at first because she doesn’t know the players. I was reluctant at first because I knew it wouldn’t take her long to figure out that I love to flirt with Kizz (hey Kizz! How you doing?). I told her that my nature is to flirt but that it is harmless. She said she had no issues with it. I told her that was good because it wasn’t going to change. She said she wouldn’t want it to.
There is so much more but I gotta get going here. I will end with this; She’s got me peeps. We have shared a lot in the last few weeks, and I will tell you that I am happily falling for her more and more each day and I couldn’t be more grateful that she is in my world.
Who does she think she is anyway? 
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