A Poem

28 02 2009

The Chilis are in Florida, they asked me to go.

With one weeks notice I had to say no.

There was work to be done and papers to write.

Sometimes being a responsible grown up takes all of my might.

The Mrs. posts pictures, they are all in their shorts and tees.

While lounging on the beach I wonder if they encountered any fleas. 

When my sister is home I can go for weeks without talking.

When either of us are away I call or text so much it borders on stalking. 

I told her this morning that more snow was coming our way.

That bitch said “to bad, we might have to stay!”

My sister hates winter, she thinks it’s a drag.

While she is in Florida she should go to Key West and visit a fag!*

I am writing this dumb poem because I miss them and I want them to know that.

Even though they left me at home, I think they are phat.

This is the end of my poem, I have homework to do.

I wish I were in Florida with my family, but at least I don’t have the flu. 


*Please note that since I am a queer kid I am allowed to say fag or any other word or phrase that might be considered offensive to the GLBT community or their allies. It even says so in the book So You’re A Queer Kid, Now What? on page 324.** Also, on page 350 it says that breeders (straight people, even those without children) may be allowed to use such terminology as long as it is sanctioned by a queer kid. For example, my breeder friends are allowed to say “that’s gay!” when they are referring to something they think is ridiculous. If you are a breeder who is looking to use such terminology, I would be happy to grant you permission as long as you are not a homophobic jerk. 


** To my knowledge, there is no book. I just made that shit up.




12 responses

28 02 2009

I’d say that’s the worst poem that I ever read,
but that’s just something not needing to be said,
I’ve got the chilis, you’ve got the snow,
So “butch up” honey, on with the show.

28 02 2009

TBD, you dissed me on my own blog, you may have well just kicked me on the street!
Just for that, when you come back north I am making you go to a Sox game, it will be my treat!


28 02 2009

I thought every Sawx game was sold out from now to the end of time!

28 02 2009
Heather G.

You are so gay. You need to write that book. I can see it on a bestseller list.

28 02 2009

Don’t worry TBD, I’ll get us tickets!

Mrs. G? Have you been given permission to say “you are so gay”? If not, I hereby grant you permission!

28 02 2009
Mrs. Chili

You know what’s funny? I DO miss you more when we’re away – or when you’re away. It happens with Mr. Chili, too; I can go all day without calling him when he’s at work, but I have to call him three or four times a day when he’s out of town. It works the same way with you, too…

I’m laughing out loud here – that’s a great poem!

28 02 2009

Ha, ha – too funny! Next winter all the rest of us should go to Florida (better add on to your house, TBD) and leave the Chili’s in the cold because winter is gay (I humbly ask your permission since I’m not a homophobic jerk).

28 02 2009
Laurie B

Auntie, Keep the honesty going. MR TBD had a great reply.

The names we use for ourselves are a gift to be shared. I believe you have chosen well. Mr.TBD, Honey, BlueMoon and Babycakes want to know you as family as well as they do the Chili tribe.

Go on down to Florida and get some good old fashioned heart felt love.
Got a Spring break coming up? Got time? Go get family love, I’ll pitch in.

1 03 2009

You make me giggle.

1 03 2009

GREAT poem! 🙂

1 03 2009

Jules, permission granted!

Laurie, will do!

Kizz, like a school girl?

Falcon, thanks!

2 03 2009

Love the poem!

Jersey and I use plenty of “inappropriate” names for each other and other gay people we know. Maybe it comes with our gay club membership card. 🙂 I’m still waiting for my sister to buy us the “Angry Dyke” t-shirts that we saw in the movie Milk, even though we’re not really angry dykes.

Anyway, I’m a woman who loves a woman, so I hereby excuse myself for any vocab slips (more so on my own blog than yours…I’d like to respect your space!).

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