New Years Eve

31 12 2008


It's already 2009 in Australia!

It's already 2009 in Australia!



 Before I get down to the business of  the New Year, I would like to take a moment to offer up some winter driving tips. It’s snowing in my neck of the woods. 3-6 or 4-8 inches depending on who’s talking. At any rate, it’s just a dusting. Still pretty tricky to drive in though as I noted on my way home from work.  

 Tip # 1. Slow the fuck down.

 Tip #2.  If you observe two cars off the highway and in the median, it’s a good idea to slow the fuck down a bit more. Personally, I was doing around 60. The road only had a bit of snow on it when I saw car #1 off the road. At that, I thought to myself that there was more at work there than I could see so I dropped to 50.  When I saw car # 2, I kept it between 40 -45. People were flying by me. Dumb. Asses. I saw 4 wrecks on my 20 mile trip. One involved multiple cars and was pretty ugly.

 Tip # 3. Keep a safe distance. Stopping is difficult in the snow. If you only leave the typical (for Massachusetts drivers) 5 feet between you and the car in front of you, you are going to end up smashing into the dude in front of you. I like to leave about 10 or 12 car lengths when it is craptastic out. This is not easy because of the Massholes cutting in.  Dumb. Asses.

 Tip # 4. If you see a plow truck in the breakdown lane, don’t aim for it. I swear to God this dude almost rammed into the back of the truck and the driver making adustments to his thingamjig. I really thought I was going to see a man die today. Scarey shit I tell ya.


 Tip # 5. Clean the fucking snow off your car before you drive it. If you can’t see me you will hit me, asshole.  Also, the snow flies off in chunks and smashes windshields/causes accidents. Don’t be such a lazy fuck!

 Anyway, tonight a whole bunch of us are going out to eat and to see my friend Rock Star sing at a place that is super close to my house! I am pumped to hang with my peeps and see my bud sing. Actually, this will be the second time in less than a week that I have gone to her show. Lucky me!

 This year I resolve to swear more (Fuck!) and use the term “Butch up!” as much as possible. Also, I am going for straight A’s in school because Mr. Chili said he would pay me a quarter for every A I got! I’ll be rich!

 How about you? Plans? Resolutions?


Photo Credit; Australia  car




12 responses

31 12 2008

More swearing I can do. Fuck yes I can do it. Butch up? Not sure. I’ll have to try it out.

Happy New Year!

31 12 2008

I agree totally with your driving tips. If I may, please allow me to add a couple more:

1) Follow the rules of the road. This means not only don’t be too much of a butthole, but also don’t be too much of a nice guy. If you have the right of way – GO! Don’t insist that the other person go first just because you feel like being Mother Theresa.

2) Don’t overcompensate for the snow. Going too slow can almost be as bad as going too fast. If you live where it snows often, you should be used to driving in it by now. Grow a pair, all right? Doing 35mph on the interstate when there’s not even an inch on the ground and visibility is barely impaired makes you just about as much of a menace as the other dumbasses Auntie has already mentioned.

Happy New Year!

31 12 2008

Yes, I like the driving tips. When it snowed here in Vegas in mid-December, everyone panicked and insisted on slamming on their brakes every few seconds…um, that’s gonna cause a lot more problems than if you just drive carefully and calmly. Common sense will do wonders for you!

Swearing more is always good. 🙂

Have a blast tonight and be safe. Happy New Year!

31 12 2008
Mrs. Chili

I’d like to add that just because someone drives a “FOUR WHEEL DRIVE!!” SUV does NOT exempt them from the laws of physics. A body in motion is going to stay in motion (especially in the snow) until acted upon to stop – I’d like for that actor to NOT be me in MY car, m’kay?

We just got back from Port City and it’s pretty sucky out there. I’m happy to be home – and staying here.

Have a fun and safe New Year’s, Sis. I love you.

31 12 2008

Falcon, thanks for the additional tips! I agree with you 100%

Morgan, I cannot even imagine what hell it must have been for you to drive in the snow down there. Sorry sistah.

Chili, great point! Must SUV drivers (excluding me) think they can go as fast as they want and make it through anything. The truth is they end up getting stuck the worst because they go off the road at a high rate of speed there for going off the road more than a car would. I have seen it a 100 times.

I love you too!

31 12 2008

Tailgating is a bigger sin than blasphemy or fornication! It is a great tradition here in Florida, too. People will tailgate, honk, and give one the finger for no greater sin than DRIVING RIGHT AT THE SPEED LIMIT ON A NOTORIOUSLY DANGEROUS TWO-LANE ROAD!!!!!!! Fuck ’em. When I can’t stay butched up on Zen, I slow down a bit more.

The worst are pickup drivers. Anyone driving a pick-em-up is an asshole until proven otherwise, and probably drives drunk 100% of the time. The beer-and-a-shot for breakfast crowd. It is easy to prove you are not one of the asshole pickup drivers—DON’T DRIVE LIKE AN ASSHOLE!

Oh, yeah, Happy New Year.

31 12 2008
Heather G.

Happy New Year Auntie!

31 12 2008

TBD, once again, great use of “butched up”! You rock!

Mrs. G, you too!

31 12 2008
Mrs. Chili

I think I might try to swear more this year, too, now that I think of it.

TBD, “butched up on Zen” is going to be my new motto…

1 01 2009

Ha ha – love that picture!

I think I’ll jump on your “more swearing” bandwagon.

Happy Fucking New Year!

2 01 2009
Organic Mama

I’ll second the Happy Fucking New Year wish and add to your driving rules that if someone is afraid to drive in the snow, PLEASE stay the fuck home: too slow is dangerous and overcompensating is a suicide bomb waiting to happen. I know how to drive in the snow (Canadian!) but I also know when the weather means stay home!

Fuck. Yup, that STILL tastes good. I like your resolution.

Best to you, bitch!

2 01 2009

LOL… great picture find!

Happy New Year.

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