Mmmm, Pizza!

30 11 2008

 Today marks the last day of my POST posts! After a long month of POSTing, I am riding in and tying my horse to the hitching POST.

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 It’s been fun but I am glad it’s over. Auntie Lurker Teacher is glad it’s over too. She told me on the phone the other day that she was bored with the POST theme.  At least I have been POSTing something you slacker!

 Mr. Falcon, I do believe you owe me a buffalo pizza. And let this be a lesson to you. Do not bet against me. Ever. ‘Nuff said.

 

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I Almost Forgot To POST Today

29 11 2008

 I have had a busy day doing laundry but not like this;

Posting or postadh (Scottish Gaelic) was a process in washing clothes formerly used in Scotland. It means to trample with the feet, or the act of trampling or treading. In scouring woollenclothing, blankets or coarse linen, when the strength of the arms and manual friction are found insufficient, Highland women put them in a tub with a prop – or quantity of water, then, withpetticoats tucked up, they commence the operation of posting, which they continue until every part of the clothes receives an effectual cleansing. When three women are employed, one commonly tramps in the middle, and the other two tramp around her. (wikipedia)

 I used this instead;

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 Unfortunately I did not use this pimped out washing machine nor was this woman at the laundry mat to help me.

 

 Also I had to get my Christmas decorations out of storage so I can put up the outside lights tomorrow, read the never ending JFK book, and go to the market. In an effort to not waste hours surfing the net, I have not opened my laptop since my morning coffee. Not bad, huh?

 What have you been doing with your Saturday?

 

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Buzzer Beater

28 11 2008

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 This is Mr. Security. He works at one of the buildings I find myself in rather frequently. This picture was taken of him sitting at the security command POST. 

 What you can’t see in this picture is the computer screens in front of him that display images from the security cameras. Mr. Security and I like to play a game called “who can open the bathroom door first.”

 The bathrooms are in the hall and they are always locked. Mr. Security has figured out that when I come in, I go to the office, grab the key and head for the bathroom. I try to get the key in the door before he has a chance to buzz me in. He almost always wins. It’s a challenge because I can’t tell if he is sitting at the command POST or not so he always has an advantage. To mix it up I sometimes wait a few minuets before I go to the bathroom. He usually wins then too. I always give him a wave to thank him and to acknowledge that he beat me again.

 When I asked him if I could take his picture he asked “why?”

“So I can put it on my blog.”

“Why”

“Because I need it for a POST post.”

“What?”

“Do you want me to explain it? It’s kind of a long story.”

“Yes.”

 So I explain the whole thing and he looks at me like I have two heads and then says it’s ok. Then he needs to make sure it’s a good picture. After he approves it and I start to walk away he yells down the hall for me.

“Auntie! Your not going to say bad things about me are you?”

“No Mr. Security! I love you, you rock!”

“Ok.”

 For the record, Mr. Security is awesome. He goes above and beyond the call of duty. 

 Oh, we also play another game. It’s called “please don’t tow my car.”





Happy Thanksgiving

27 11 2008

 

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 Wishing you all a Happy Thanksgiving! I hope your families are nice to you!

 If I have any Native American readers, I would like to apologise for what my ancestors did to your ancestors. This happens to be my least favorite holiday because of the atrocities committed against the native people of this country. Auntie Teachers BIL is Native American and every year I apologise to him. Every year he says that it is ok. I’m thankful for that.

 

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The POST Gods Are With Me

26 11 2008

 I swear on everything I believe in that this is another true story;

 I had meetings and trainings yesterday. The new HR lady came by to do a few trainings. I had never met her before. She walked in when the Clinical dude was doing his professional boundaries training. I immediately thought she was cute. While I was listening, I was thinking about how cute she was. When it was her turn to talk, she opened with our sexual harassment policy. Great! I am thinking about how cute she is and she is talking about sexual harassment. I blame Kizz. She put my mind in the gutter on Sunday and it has been there since. Anyway, she ends by saying “You should never talk about your sexuality at work.” and then she begins talking about something else.

 I feel my blood begin to boil and my hand goes up in the air all on it’s own.

“I have a question!”

“Yes Auntie?”

“So it’s ok for my co-worker to say her husband is picking her up after work but it’s not ok for me to say my girlfriend is picking me up after work?”

“Oh, um, no. You can say that.”

“Well, you made a very broad statement about sexuality. You kind of made it sound like we shouldn’t say things like that.”

“That’s not what I meant. You shouldn’t talk about the details of your sexuality. Thank you for clarifying.”

That’s what I thought. Good thing because everyone at work knows I am a queer kid and I have no intention of trying to hide who I am.

 A POSTer;

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Fence POST??

25 11 2008

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Another True Story

24 11 2008

 First, I would like to give my clients a shout out because they are providing me with inspiration for my POST posts. They don’t know I am doing this and they don’t even know I have a blog. So far, two clients have helped. Thanks kids!

 I have this client who is pregnant. She is by far the funniest client I have. She cracks me up every time I see her. Anyway, she calls me a half hour before I go to see her and she goes on this rant about her boyfriend. Apparently she is upset with him because he plugged her cell phone in to charge it and she is pissed because when he plugs her phone in “..his big stupid fingers..” shut the ringer off on the phone and he doesn’t even realize it. As a result, she ends up missing calls. She goes on and on about it and when she finally stops I say “It sounds like he is just trying to be helpful.”

 Wrong answer. 

 She launches into another tirade about the guy.

 I have to stop her but I tell her I will be at their house in twenty minuets and we can talk about it then.

 I go there, she gets in the car and picks right up where she left off.

 Apparently, this guy is a big jerk. He goes grocery shopping and picks out things he thinks she will like. He comes home from work and wants to cuddle with her. He would rather stay in with her than go out with a bunch of people. And, if that weren’t enough, he puts his clothes in the laundry basket! Asshole!

 Ok, there are problems with his “flaws”. The things he picks out for her she typically doesn’t like to eat, he works all day leaving her at home with the dog so when he gets home, she wants to go out and do things and be social. He puts his clothes in the basket but he won’t actually do the washing.

 We have a very good working relationship so I can call her on her shit. I tried to explain to her why he may do the things he does and not for nothin’ kid but he works all day and earns all the money. Is it going to kill you to do his laundry for him?

 “What is this really about?” I ask her.

“He’s just so dumb!”

“I can’t think of any woman who wouldn’t be thrilled to be with this guy! He is not dumb, he is nice and he is good to you and he loves you!”

” He is just dumb!”

“I think you are having hormone issues.”

” YOU THINK? No shit I am having hormone issues! I have a fucking person growing inside me! Don’t ever do this! Don’t ever make anyone do this for you! This sucks! I feel like shit every day! I feel like I am going to puke every fucking day! He has no fucking idea what this is like! I can’t believe he did this to me! I talked to my doctor about it and I told her she better get fucking ready now because if I feel like this already I am sure I will have POSTpartum depression. That will be just my luck!”

 Forty five minuets later when I dropped her off at therapy, she was still going strong. If this keeps up and her boyfriend makes it through the next seven months, I am going to nominate him for man of the year.

For him

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