Feeling the Pull

19 05 2008

 Remember my post about my friends that I stopped speaking to? Well, one of those friends has called me a couple of times since that incident. The first time was to invite me to her going away gathering. She moved out of her apartment and in with the other friend and wanted to have one last party at the old apartment. I thought it was very nice of her to invite me. She said that although our last conversation didn’t go well, we had been friends for a long time and shared lots of memories in that apartment. I didn’t end up going. I had lots of school stuff to do and honestly, I didn’t feel like I needed to re-hash old memories.

 Certainly me and my friends had a lot of good times together. For me though, not feeling respected  for who I am by my friends had been going on for a very long time and I had no desire to put myself in that situation again. I did struggle with the decision of whether or not to go though. I felt like I made the right decision and had absolutely no regrets.

 Two weeks ago she called again. We chatted for a bit and gave updates on each other lives. After a bit she started talking about our friendship. The gist of it was that she felt like we had been friends for a long time, had some good memories, and had been there for each other through the years. She went on to say that since I answered her call and was chatting with her then I must not be mad at her and maybe once in awhile we can chat or hang out. I know it was very difficult for her to get out. I just gave you the gist of it. She went on and on. As she was going on about it I was thinking that it was cool that she was able to communicate her feelings to me and that she was willing to take the first step in possibly rebuilding our friendship.

 My response was that I was never mad at her. I truly wasn’t. I said before and will say again that she gave me a gift that day. I was finally at a place with the two of them where I could stand up for myself and do what was best for me. I didn’t care what they thought of me, I cared what I thought of me. That was a great feeling. Anyway, I told her that as long as we could be nice to each other and be respectful of each others feelings, then it would be ok to talk or hang out once in awhile.

 What is important to note is that since I have not spoken to the two of them, my life has been much happier, simpler, and absolutely drama free. I have not had one interaction with any of my many friends where I felt disrespected or  judged. Not once.

 What has been on my mind the last two weeks is do I give it another chance or I am just going to be inviting all the yucky stuff back in? I really hate to close a door but I have really been loving my life. If I do give it another go, you can be sure that the rules of the game will be made clear and will be enforced.




3 responses

19 05 2008
Mrs. G.

It sounds to me like you all ready know what you want to do.

19 05 2008
Laurie B

Auntie, Honey,

That door is closed and for a good reason. The song says to “keep walkin’, don’t look back”. If you do look back, it will be the same old shit everytime. Keep on walking and be proud.

Your life is good and getting better every day. You are happier, simpler and drama free. Geeze, Louis..why would you want to go back? Your future is in front of you, not behind you. Go with it and see where it leads.

We haven’t met in person but I’d have (and have had) the same conversation with any of my friends. They have done the same for me. We are older than you are for sure, but you might very well be the wiser. You know what’s right for you.

Stick to your guns Auntie.

20 05 2008

I have to go with Mrs. G on this one. She’s a smart cookie.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: