Driving Adventures

15 05 2008

 Last night I went to watch Beans violin recital. She did great and appeared to improve quite a bit since her first recital. Also, she was much less fidgety this time around. I was concerned that the enthusiastic boy standing next to her was going to poke her eye out with his bow but she managed to make it out with both of her eyes. Good stuff.

 As much as I am sure you all want to hear about all the details of the recital, this post is really about my very interesting drive up.

 I leave the house and get on the on ramp to the first highway. There is an elderly man in front of me, lets call him Grandpa, and someone behind me. As we are making our way around the ramp, Grandpa locks ’em up right in the middle of the ramp. I say “locks ’em up” meaning he slams on the brakes. You can’t really lock ’em up anymore with anti-lock breaks and all.. Anyway, he locks ’em up for no apparent reason! Well, there was a small pot hole. Maybe thats why he did it. Now, because I am a very safe and conscientious driver who was not tailgating, I only had to tap my breaks for a second. As I did, I said to myself (but out loud) “It’s ok Grandpa, it’s only a pot hole.” You see, I gave up the whole road rage yelling, swearing, and bird flipping thing a long time ago. Now I just offer suggestions in a very calm and polite way.

 “A directional would be helpful to me.”

“If you were not driving so close you wouldn’t have to slam on your brakes so much.”

“It’s easier to merge with traffic going 70 mph if you are going faster than, I don’t know, 25 mph.”

 Back to Grandpa. So when he finally makes it to the end of the ramp and trying to merge at 25 mph I say to myself (but out loud) ” Grandpa, you gotta hit the gas. You’re gonna get us killed.” I was not yelling, I was not making wild hand gestures. So we get on the highway and as soon as I have a chance, I pass him. As I am pulling up on him he gives me the finger. Not just a quick flip. He is holding his hand up against his window the entire time I pass him. I was in shock! “Grandpa! Is that you? Flipping me off? Really? You’re like, 100 years old!”

 Sometimes when I am total disbelief about what someone is doing on the road I give ’em the look. You know the look? The one that says “What the hell were you thinking?!” I chose not to acknowledge Grandpa at all. I decided if he was that old and that immature, he might just try to ram me or something.

 In other news I saw two funny bumper stickers on my ride up.

 Sorry it’s so small.

I can’t find the other one but it was on the back of a VW Bug and it said  “I eat children”. It’s a weird thing to have on your car but stranger on a VW Bug. Bug owners seem so nice and wholesome to me.

 

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2 responses

15 05 2008
MST

OMG…you just gotta laugh at Grandpa. He probably get beeped at and yelled at a lot, and has yet to learn the art of letting it go…so he was assuming that you were just like the rest, and he thought he’s beat you to it.
That, or he’s insane.

16 05 2008
mrschili

Seriously? You were flipped off by Grandpa? What the hell?!

That IS funny…

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