This Is My Life

11 05 2008

 I am really struggling here people. Really. No joke. 

 Last night I went out with the peeps. I am standing there talking when this woman comes up to me and starts talking. The conversation went something like this;

“Excuse me. Do you have a girlfriend?”

“No?” I said with a puzzled look on my face.

“Oh, well my friend over there thinks you are cute and she would like to meet you. Will you come over and meet my friend?”

It took me a few seconds to respond because I had to get my bearings. I looked around to make sure I wasn’t on the playground at elementary school, realized I was in fact in a bar holding a glass of Crown, and tried to decide how to handle this situation in a nice way. I am a nice girl people. I am not rude, I am not mean. I was totally at a loss with this one.

“Umm, sure.” I said and leaned over to my very good and very trusted friend SLM2 and said “If I’m not back in five you better come and get me the fuck outta this!”

 I go over and meet this woman. Honestly, I don’t even remember her name. I think I was in total shock and disbelief that this was actually happening. The entire conversation lasted maybe 30 seconds if that. Of course it was so uncomfortable that it felt like an hour. Now that I think about it, I would rather have stitches ripped out from under my ass skin than to have to go through something like this. Anyway, we exchange names and small talk and she says ” I really just want a girlfriend and if you’re single..”. I stopped her at that. Really? You just met me and you want me to be your girlfriend? Not to mention how incredibly desperate that sounds. MY GOD!

” I am not looking for a girlfriend. I work full time and go to school. I am very busy. Thanks though. Good luck.”

 Now thats not entirely true. I am not looking per say, but if my future wife came knocking, I would not send her away.

 I asked my peeps, now I am asking you. Why am I attracting the weirdos? Remember the bad pick up line girl from awhile ago? Now this! What is wrong with me? Now, I don’t really think something is wrong with me. Not to say I am perfect either but jeepers! 

 Any advice or encouraging words you can offer me would be very much appreciated. Oh, and happy Mothers Day!




6 responses

11 05 2008

It’s possibly related to why I attract really boring guys. Although, come to think of it, it’s only boring guys, when I attract girls they tend to be SUPER scary weird. Have I told you about the girl with one arm?

I don’t know what to tell you. The having a friend do the introduction thing sort of stinks but it’s not unusual or a dealbreaker I don’t think, the whole “Hi, you’re pretty can I keep you?” part is deeply icky.

11 05 2008

Kizz: If it was her “good” arm, what was the problem? heehee

My peep (I feel weird calling you Auntie): Like I said last night, we ALL attract weirdos…just cuz there are a lot of weirdos out there! (ummm…recall crazy dancing lady? thank you for the protection) But your future wife may not come knocking at your door…you may have to knock on hers. Not that you have to go out searching, like you said about last night’s ‘pass-note-in-gym-class’ girl-that’s desperate, which I know you are not (which BTW is much more attractive to normal gals)…BUT…don’t be afraid to approach someone yourself…strike up a conversation. Notice the more girly-girl (preferably not too drunk) who’s watching the Red Sox game and just having a good time with her peeps (they were there), and strike one up. You can always walk away. You are attracted to personality, so test some out 🙂 Like I said, too…we can be wingwomen for you, without it being too obvious. I actually enjoy doing that!
OH…and you’re supposed to marry ME anyway!
Love you!

11 05 2008

Kizz- I can’t wait to hear about the one armed girl!!!

MST- I’m not afraid to approach girls. I guess it’s just not a priority for me.. I think I also tend to find a flaw before I decide to talk to them. They drink to much, they are talking to the person I know is crazy (guilt by association), they are wearing a Tigger t-shirt… That sort of thing.
I can’t marry you anymore! You are dating one of my BFF’s!
I love you too!

11 05 2008
Mrs. G.

I have always been a magnet to male and female nutjobs-many have turned out to be my best friends. It may be just because you have such a big heart. That’s my theory.

11 05 2008
Laurie B

Just saying, the best and most solid lovers are to be found amongst the people you already know. Or at least, among the people that your people know.

OK, Maybe the wifeness is knocking and you should just either quit considering dating one of your BFF’s gallery or just go on and ask her out. It seemed like the invitation was there.. Ya’ think?

Yeah, crude as it may be, a one armed woman.. choosing what side of the bed would be easy.

Enough of nasty, I’ve been with BEW for more than either 15 or 30 years. (we have decidedly different opinions about when we each figured it out) I know that the last time I was trying to pick up a date was the scariest and most heartbreaking time. My advice, give the woman at the bar a little room. She saw you as somebody special, somebody worth risking everything for. Don’t go too over the top here, alchohol was involved, for sure.

Take your time, entertain all possibilities. Go slow. That’s the bottom line with everthing. Go slow. You can get a lot of dancing in, and some dinners and some laughs. We all know where it ends. The journey is the thing.

I can tell you that I love being in my shoes, old and married with the love of my life and dreams’ neither of us had ever wanted to have kids. That was an early on dating discussion. We agreed, cats, not kids.

I hope you find your dream love, whatever she may be or be like.
Happy mother’s day. Here’s hoping you get to be Mama along with your partner, Mommy

12 05 2008

We will go with your big heart theory, Mrs. G. Thanks! Don’t nice, “normal” girls want someone with a big heart??

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