Warning! This Post Is About Blood And Stuff!

5 04 2008

 I don’t want to be one of those people who, as they get older, talk all the time about their medical issues. I remember my friends parents and older people that I have worked with constantly talking about this and that that has been wrong with them and thinking to myself that I would never do that when I got older. I have been talking a lot about my health stuff lately but I like to think it is because it is a funny story. Here is another one.

 Yesterday I had my moles removed as well as the “peculiar”(my doctors word) thing on my arm. The doctor sent me to a plastic surgeon because it faster for me to be seen than the dermatologist. So I go in there, get myself in to the johnny and wait about 50 minuets to be seen. No big deal, I am a very patient person. When it is finely my turn, the nurse takes me into the room and I wait for the doctor. I really wasn’t to nervous about the whole thing but the nurse kept me busy by talking about all kinds of things so that was good. The doctor comes in and we start chatting it up. She tells me she came from the bathroom. I was thinking that I really hope she washed her hands. I would have said it out loud but I wasn’t sure if she had a sense of humor so I didn’t. Turns out she did and we joked through the whole thing.

 “What are we doing here?” She asks. “Way to instill confidence in me doc!” I say. That got a good laugh from the nurses. She took the mole off my knee first. I asked for that one to come off because when I shave, if I forget it is there, I end up slicing it and bleeding for a very long time. Next comes the thing on my arm. “What is this?” she asks me. “I don’t know! Your the doctor!” I say. She said something(in a joking tone) about how it was my body and I should know. “Listen smart ass! This skin shit is your business! If you want to talk about feelings, then you can ask me!” She was cracking up.

 The thing on my arm looked like a small pimple. When it showed up, that’s what I thought it was. After having it for a year and a half, I decided it was not a pimple and maybe I should get it checked. She takes the thing out and passes it over me to the nurse waiting with a cup. “That thing is huge!” I say to her. “You think that’s big? Look at the hole in your arm!” She says “I can’t look at my hole. I can look at other peoples holes, just not my own.” I say as I feel the blood running down my elbow. She goes on to tell me how things like that are always much bigger than they look on the outside and how when you take them out the skin tends to split open. I can’t be sure exactly what she was talking about  as I was preoccupied with the sensation of blood gushing out of me.. She stitches me up, then I have a look. “Jesus! How many stitches did I get!” I cannot believe how big the line on my arm is. ” I don’t know, I always lose count.” She says. “Take a guess.” I reply. “Ten or so.” She says. I go on to tell her about Chilis cyst removal and how she only had 4 stitches. “This means I totally win!” I say with delight. She tells me something about how she didn’t stitch in a straight line, blah, blah, blah. I tell her it doesn’t matter, ten is more than four, I win!

 When she removes the last two, she starts talking about what I have to do to take care of them. She tells me she is going to write a Rx for the pain. I tell her not to bother because I won’t take it. “Really?” she says. “Really.” I say. “OK, well take some Advil if you need to.” She says. “How about a shot of Crown?” I ask. “That would be fine.” She says with a chuckle. She goes on to say I should also apply ice to help with the pain. I ask her if I can just rest the glass of Crown on the spot. She laughed and says that would also be fine. ” You will kill two birds with one stone and conserve resources!” That’s what I’m talking about sister!

 Today I am in a small amout of pain. I don’t feel like I need to take anything for it though. I will have a glass or two of Crown tonight at MSTs party. Don’t worry, I have a driver. Thanks in advance for that, SLM2! Cheers! Oh, and no pictures. It’s covered with Strei-Strips that have to stay on until my follow up. Sorry.

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