Try, try again

14 02 2008

 I just picked up my new antibiotic. The last one was apparently the cause of the stomach pain and vomiting. Did I mention that the doctors office didn’t call me back until today! I called them at 9 am yesterday! “Stop taking the medication. Obviously you are allergic to it. I’ll put a note in your chart.” The woman on the phone said. ” No shit I already did.” I said. Now people, I ask you, what if I were a fucking moron? What if I took it again? What could have happened to me? Perhaps the second reaction was worse then the first? What if it landed me in the hospital? See, if I were a moron I would have taken again because THEY WAITED 25 HOURS TO RETURN MY CALL!!! Now you need to understand that I did call them back at 4pm yesterday. The answering service lady informed me that the office closes at 2 on Wednesdays. I asked her to please have the on call call me asap. He called me within a few minuets and told me to stop taking all the medications and call the doctor back in the morning.. So again, I ask you, what if I didn’t call them back and I was a FUCKING MORON?!!  Ugh.

 So now let’s do some math. Now, if you know me you are probably thinking ” Auntie, you suck at math! You have a gigantic dislike for math!” You are right. It is true that Pumpkin Pie and Beaner would do better on the math portion of the SAT then I would. I’m ok with that. I truly believe that I have number dyslexia. Anyway, play along, this will be fun.

 The first antibiotic was $31.00. The second was $10.00. Add in the $2.00 in yogurt that will hopefully stop the yeast infection that is sure to follow. That’s a total of $43.00. You know what, lets subtract the second one and call our total $33.00.  You following? Ok, good. Now, one Crown Royal at a bar will cost about $6.00, let’s say $8.00 with a the tip assuming the bartender is good. 1 Crown has me nice and relaxed. I will talk more and you can get me on the dance floor. 2 Crowns and I will be dancing the night away. Two is usually tops for me. 3 and you can pretty much bet on me walking funny and telling everyone how much I love them. So let’s just say I go out and have 3. That’s a total of $24.00 and a damn good story to tell the next day. I will have a hangover but after a glass of Emergen-C, 1 Advil and a plate of greasy home-fries and I am good to go. I’ll be feeling better within a couple of hours. I got ONE damn dose of antibiotic and I’m puking my guts out all night and two day’s later I still have an achy, crampy belly! $33.00 wasted! No fun versus $24.00 and lots of fun. I’ve said it before and I will say it again, Crown is the best medicine. And don’t think I didn’t try to get my money back. No luck. All this and I didn’t even feel sick to begin with!  I went to the doctor with hives! Now all this.What. The. Fuck! Oh and by the way, the very first line of the side effects section for the new med says “Nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, or stomach pain may occur.” Awesome!

crownroyal.jpg Cheers!

Photo credit




3 responses

15 02 2008

Glad you’ve got it figured and I really hope you don’t have the same problem with the new one. I hate antibiotics.

15 02 2008

You sure it’s not the Crown giving you the hives? I’m just askin’…

15 02 2008

I don’t drink the Crown that much. Maybe once a month. I didn’t puke last night!! Yippee!

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