Try, try again

 I just picked up my new antibiotic. The last one was apparently the cause of the stomach pain and vomiting. Did I mention that the doctors office didn’t call me back until today! I called them at 9 am yesterday! “Stop taking the medication. Obviously you are allergic to it. I’ll put a note in your chart.” The woman on the phone said. ” No shit I already did.” I said. Now people, I ask you, what if I were a fucking moron? What if I took it again? What could have happened to me? Perhaps the second reaction was worse then the first? What if it landed me in the hospital? See, if I were a moron I would have taken again because THEY WAITED 25 HOURS TO RETURN MY CALL!!! Now you need to understand that I did call them back at 4pm yesterday. The answering service lady informed me that the office closes at 2 on Wednesdays. I asked her to please have the on call call me asap. He called me within a few minuets and told me to stop taking all the medications and call the doctor back in the morning.. So again, I ask you, what if I didn’t call them back and I was a FUCKING MORON?!!  Ugh.

 So now let’s do some math. Now, if you know me you are probably thinking ” Auntie, you suck at math! You have a gigantic dislike for math!” You are right. It is true that Pumpkin Pie and Beaner would do better on the math portion of the SAT then I would. I’m ok with that. I truly believe that I have number dyslexia. Anyway, play along, this will be fun.

 The first antibiotic was $31.00. The second was $10.00. Add in the $2.00 in yogurt that will hopefully stop the yeast infection that is sure to follow. That’s a total of $43.00. You know what, lets subtract the second one and call our total $33.00.  You following? Ok, good. Now, one Crown Royal at a bar will cost about $6.00, let’s say $8.00 with a the tip assuming the bartender is good. 1 Crown has me nice and relaxed. I will talk more and you can get me on the dance floor. 2 Crowns and I will be dancing the night away. Two is usually tops for me. 3 and you can pretty much bet on me walking funny and telling everyone how much I love them. So let’s just say I go out and have 3. That’s a total of $24.00 and a damn good story to tell the next day. I will have a hangover but after a glass of Emergen-C, 1 Advil and a plate of greasy home-fries and I am good to go. I’ll be feeling better within a couple of hours. I got ONE damn dose of antibiotic and I’m puking my guts out all night and two day’s later I still have an achy, crampy belly! $33.00 wasted! No fun versus $24.00 and lots of fun. I’ve said it before and I will say it again, Crown is the best medicine. And don’t think I didn’t try to get my money back. No luck. All this and I didn’t even feel sick to begin with!  I went to the doctor with hives! Now all this.What. The. Fuck! Oh and by the way, the very first line of the side effects section for the new med says “Nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, or stomach pain may occur.” Awesome!

 Cheers!

Photo credit

Hot People for Valentien’s day/ spring training.

Kizz has her hot people, Mrs. G has her secret boyfriends. I decided to join in and post some women who I think are hot and who, if they were my girlfriends, I would not keep it a secret.

Angie Harmon. She is married to the ex football player Jason Sehorn. He’s got nothing on me. She was on Law and Order which I would sometimes watch just for her.

Emily Procter. I loved her on The West Wing, now she is on CSI Miami. She was one tough nut on both shows. Hot, hot, hot.

Portia De Rossi. She was on Ally Mc Beal. I loved that show too. She actually was my girlfriend. I dumped her because she is to tall for me. That’s why a google search will reveal no photos of us. I wouldn’t allow it. Ellen apparently doesn’t have the same height issues as I do. They seem pretty happy together and I’m glad because Portia is really nice and Ellen deserves that after her last nut job girlfriend..

Sarah Shahi. She was on the L Word. She was dating Shane who is such a dumb whore. Shane cheated on her and she took off. I was so sad she was off the show. In real life she said that she “dabbled” in women. Obviously she didn’t dabble with me or she would be a card carrying member*.

Lauren Graham. I used to love her until I saw her on Ellen. She did not stop talking. I don’t think Ellen even got to ask her a question. She made my head spin and I had to shut off the tv. Shut up already!

 All these ladies have something in common besides their hotness. Care to take a guess?

 On to baseball. Pitchers and catchers report to Fort Myers today! Life is good! The first spring training game is in 14 days. I can’t wait. Did I mention I love baseball? In keeping with the hot people theme of the day, here are some hot Sox guys. I have to say that we have probably the ugliest team in baseball. At least their bats are hot which is all I really care about.

 Tito is kinda cute with his bald head, Theo is cute because he is such a genius.

My friend Boss thinks Beckett is hot. From this picture it looks like he ate junk food for the entire off season.

 This one is for Chili, Mike is her favorite. He’s alright I guess. Last but not least…

  Tina! Ok, she doesn’t technically play for the Sox but she does do some interviews and stuff. Come on, you know I had to end with a chick! I took this photo at the rally after we won the world series. She was trying to call me. She was looking all over for me but she just didn’t see me. I was to busy taking her picture to realize my pocket was ringing.. Oh well.

*We don’t really get ID cards.

Photo Credit: Angie, Emily, Portia, Sarah, Lauren, Theo and Tito, Josh, Mike