I Am Pissed..

 And that is an understatement. I found this story this morning. It pretty much says that 37% of college freshman in Massachusetts need to take remedial courses. 37%! Do you have any idea why this makes me mad? I’ll tell you! Because as of yesterday, the FBI is investigating whether or not Roger Clemens lied to congress. Not making the connection? Let me help you. The government is spending MORE money on this whole steroid/growth hormone thing. I mentioned the Pat’s spy gate bullshit awhile ago and how I was mad about wasting tax payers money on what should be an NFL issue. Same deal here. Let MLB take care of this. Make them hire independent investigators! Make them pay for this!! When are they going to have a congressional investigation in to why so many kids are either dropping out of school or graduating when they can barely read, write and God forbid, think critically!!

 Am I the only one who feels this way?

You all know how much I love sports, baseball in particular. I can tell you that I would give it up in a second if it meant more money for education and a whole host of other things that are way more important than this crap. MAKE MLB/NFL PAY! For a minuet I though about boycotting baseball. It wouldn’t do any good. I can’t boycott the government, that won’t do anygood either. I am  writing to my congressmen, but I fear that won’t do any good either.

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The Medical Results Are In Too

I went to the doc again on Monday. Sorry it’s taken so long to write about it, mid-terms have been consuming most of my thoughts.

Turns out I have Hashimoto’s disease. It’s an autoimmune thing where apparently my body thinks my thyroid is bad and is attacking it. Not. Nice. It does not hurt and it doesn’t seem like it’s a big deal at all. I have to go to the endocrinologist and will know more then. It does explain the hives and the fatigue though. At least it’s not the chocolate!!!!

The Sox play today!!! You have no idea how happy I am! It’s currently cold and snowing where I live and more snow is on the way. I couldn’t really care less. The boys of summer take the field which means warm weather is right around the corner!

PLAY BALL!

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The Preliminary Results Are In

First, I need to apologize to you. I told a lie but didn’t mean to. This is actually the second accidental lie I have told today and the third apology. I also apologized for the first lie and for giving Boss’s 14 year old a harsh talkin’ to for something I thought she did but turns out she didn’t. I believe in owning my shit and maken amends..

Anyway, I told you that I had my first big test today. That was the lie. On Monday I had my Computers for Dummies mid-term. I really don’t count that because, well, it’s Computers for Dummies. Technically though, that was my first big test. Sorry.

I wasn’t really sure I was going to blog about this because I don’t want to sound like a smarty pants and I don’t want it to seem like I am lookin for compliments.. Got me? Having said that, my Psychology Professor graded the test part of the exam. I only missed one and got the best grade in the class. That has never happened to me before. Never. Since the third grade I have believed (partly because of my teacher, Mrs. I hate kids and will do anything I can to make them feel like stupid pieces of shit) that I was not smart. It has taken me years to get over this and to find the courage to get my ass to school. I know that I am smart, it’s just taken me awhile to believe that in my heart.

I feel like I did well on the essay part too. My hand cramped up from writing so much and so fast. I’ll know more next week.

I also want to say thanks to everyone who has been so supportive of me and for all the encouragement. Thanks for believing in me, especially you Chili.

Love,

Auntie

My First Big Test

 I have my Introduction To Psychology mid-term today. I am ready. Spelling counts which sucks but I am thinking that my vast knowledge of the subject matter will override my spelling mistakes. Yes, I have been practicing the words I often misspell..

Ten Things Tuesday

 I have three basic, but kind of silly, rules of life that I taught Pumkin Pie and Bean when they were very young. They are the first three on my list. For the sake of Ten Things Tuesday, I decided to think seven more.

 1. Never take ’em back. You broke up for a reason. It probably won’t work if you try and give it another go.

 2. No open containers. Meaning booze in the car when I am driving. I’m not willing to lose my licence because you want to finish your beer.

 3. Never drink bad coffee. Cheap coffee is ok if it tastes good but life is too damn short to drink gross coffee.

 4. If it doesn’t fit in your pocket, you don’t need it. This is actually my motto. How much of that crap in your purse do you actually use anyway?

 5. Clean the damn snow off of your car! I don’t understand people only  who clean off a small part of their windshield. They can’t see out of the back window or the sides. Then the snow flies off in giant chunks while on the highway and smashes other peoples windshields. Not only is it dumb, it’s dangerous.

 6.  Shut the water off when you brush your teeth. There is no need too waste.

 7. Turn signals are there for a reason. I’m not a mind reader. It would be nice if you let your fellow drivers know what your intentions are.

 8. Try some manners!I have been having a hard time with this lately and I am blown away by the number of adults who don’t use any manners. The biggest offenders are people in bars who bump in to you and make you spill your drink and don’t bother to say a word. I’m not sure if this is a New England phenomenon or what but I have to say that New Yorkers are GREAT about sayin’ sorry!

 9.  Do unto others.. Really. This is a good rule to live by. The world does not revolve around you. Don’t ask me to do something for you that you wouldn’t do for yourself or for me.

 10. Be nice or leave. ‘Nuff said.

Crack

 Last Tuesday after work I came home, turned on the news and was futzing around the kitchen. I was not paying attention to the news at all. All of a sudden, I hear a crack. In an instant I was focused. I mean like the world stopped focused. Normally when you hear a crack it means something bad. Not in this case. Before I even turned toward the noise I knew what it was and I was instantly filled with joy and hope. I felt the smile form on my face and with that one crack, all was right in my world. I turned toward the tv and there it was; they were showing Big Papi in the cages wailing on baseballs.

 Here he is at his first day of spring training. Here his is showing Brad Mills, the bench coach, some love.

 `As you can see, he is very happy to see Sean Casey. Papi isn’t my favorite player, Wakefield is, but just look at this guy! He loves to play, he loves his coaches, and he loves his team. And boy can he crush a baseball. I have to say, I have enjoyed watching him over the years. When he’s at bat, people stop and watch. They don’t want to miss him hitting one over the Green Monster. And if he doesn’t hit it out, it is funny as hell to watch him chug run and even more funny to watch him belly flop his sorry ass slide into second.

 We didn’t watch baseball as kids, we were a football family. Chili watches baseball because, well, if you can’t beat ’em, join ’em. I didn’t start watching baseball on a regular basis until the late 90’s. When I started, it was true love. Me and baseball just fit. I’m not exactly sure what it is about baseball that I love so much. It just touches something deep inside me. Have you ever had someone ask you how you knew something and your reply was “I just know”. That’s it for me. I just know.

 I can, and have on one occasion, talk about baseball all day long. The day I went to the rally, me and the peeps talked about baseball all day. It really was one of the best days of my life. Great people, another world series banner, a parade and lots of cold beer. I was in my glory. Maslow would call it a “peak experience”. Holy crap! I have to write an essay for my mid-term this week. I am so doing it on Maslow’s Hierarchy of needs as it related to my day at the rally! All of my needs were met and I was so self-actualized that day it wasn’t even funny! Whoa, sorry about that school tangent, I just got very excited for a minuet.. Back to baseball. This is going to be a exciting year. Look at this team we have! We’ve got  a rookie of the year (Dustin), a gold glove winner ( Youk ,who, by the way was moved from 3rd to first just last year) a kid who threw a no hitter ( Clay) a future rookie of the year ( Jacoby, who will beat out Crisp for the starting center field job) and a bunch of veterans who just kick ass. Hell, Manny even showed up for spring training ON TIME this year. A political move (he is in the last year of his contract this year) but on time none

the less.  I have never been as excited  for baseball to begin as I am this year. Yesterday I found myself searching the guide on the tv for ANYTHING baseball related to watch. Sadly, I found nothing. This Thursday is their first game. They always play Boston college in the spring. How lucky those college boys are to have a chance to play the World Series Champs! I would love a chance to try and hit one off of Wake. I know I would never connect, but to have the chance at a at bat against this guy would be so cool. Have you seen him pitch? The things he can make a baseball do are amazing!

 Ok, I’ll stop now. We can talk more about this as the season goes on. I’ll end with some more pictures.

 Tim working his magic! Dustin, 2007 Rookie of the Year.  Pap, soon to be the best closer ever.

 Youk and Coco in a foot race. Youk has no chance.

 And for Chili and Kizz because they were not impressed with the picture of Nick that I posted for THEM(!) yesterday, here is Mike running drills and a random, non baseball picture of Colin Farrell. Who loves you girls more than me?

                                            

Photo Credits: .  All Papi pics and Manny    Tim,Dustin,Pap,Youk, Coco andMike   Colin

Clean Sheet Sunday

I went to the laundry mat today. I think that proper laundry mat etiquette would say that the person walking in or out WITHOUT carrying a heavy basket full of clothes would yield to the person who IS carrying a heavy basket full of clothes. Both on my way in and on my way out I had to move for someone who had nothing in their hands. Sigh. Also, if you choose to use the rolling baskets supplied by the laundry mat, I think you should also yield to the person lugging their heavy laundry. And in both cases, if you choose not to yield, could you at least say “excuse me”? I always say it even if I am the one you should be yielding to. Sigh again.

 Thought you breeder girls might like a picture of Nick Lachey carrying his laundry. I think he is looking at the person carrying nothing who didn’t yield for him..

Photo credit.

Change

 Things are changing ’round here. In recent weeks I have been having some friend issues. Actually, these issues have been going on for years. I won’t bore you with the details but basically it comes down to this; two of my friends have been questioning my morals, values and personal beliefs. They have been questioning, and quite frankly, making fun of who I am.

 For years I have been trying to explain to them why I do the things I do in an effort to get them to respect my choices. I don’t expect everyone to necessarily understand what makes me tick, but it would be nice if at least I was respected. I have had no luck. After years of this, I had to make some changes.

 You may be asking why I have put up with this for so long. That would be a two part answer. First, I understand why they behave the way they do. One of the things I really like about me is my ability to see the big picture in people. I can usually figure out pretty quickly what motivates people to do the things they do. When I teach crisis intervention, one of the things I stress to my students is all behavior has meaning. I tell them that people are not acting like jerks because they feel like being jerks. Something much bigger is going on. My job is to figure out what that is. As far as my friends are concerned, I have ignored a lot of “bad” behavior because I knew where it was coming from. My mistake, as I have recently learned, was that I allowed that behavior to be projected on to me. No more. It’s yours, either you deal with it or keep it to yourself.

 The second answer to the above question is much more personal. I realized that for all this time of putting up with this is that I have been asking myself the wrong question. The old question was, “Why can’t you just respect who I am?” the new question is “When am I going to accept who I am? When am I going to be able to say ‘This is me, take it or leave it.'” A couple of weeks ago I was finally able to say that. The morning after the incident that sparked all this I woke up and felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I am not exaggerating when I say that I felt happier, more proud of who I am and that I was literally standing straighter. It also made me take a good hard look at what I had. All along I have had other amazing friends who love me for me, support me and respect who I am. I wasn’t really in a place to fully appreciate those people until now, I wasn’t able to see that I was getting it until I was giving it to myself.

 I had a follow up conversation with one of those friends last night. My intention was to let her know that things had changed, that I had changed. I needed to draw a line in the sand. I essentially said that I had come to a place in my life where I really like who I am and am proud of who I am. What has been going on between us has not been fun. I am tired of having my character attacked and I am tired of being asked to to change who I am because you are uncomfortable with it. I get that you may not understand why I do the things I do, that’s fine, however if you can’t respect who I am then I don’t want to play anymore.

 I was met with much opposition and defensiveness. I expected that. What’s interesting to me is that now, even more so then before, I understand why she behaves they way she does. The difference is that now I am not going to allow her stuff to affect me.

 Chili asked me after Auntie teacher and I broke up if I was getting tired of my relationships turning out the way they were. My answer was an enthusiastic “No!”. I told her that with every relationship, whether it be an intimate one or not, I come away learning something about myself. I grow. I am so grateful that I can recognize that and that I have the ability to look at myself honestly and ask “How am I contributing to this?”. I have been able to look at my own behaviors and say “Yeah, you know what? This just isn’t working for me anymore. I gotta do something different here.” I have been able to really listen to what people say about me and how my behavior affects them. Sometimes what they say is just not true, sometimes it is. When it is, I get to the bottom of what is motivating my “bad” behavior, try to explain to them that it was about me and not them and make a heart felt apology for any pain I may have caused them. I also thank them for helping me learn something about me that I just didn’t see before. What better gift can one friend give to another then the gift of growth?

 The resolution to all this is that I’m not playing anymore. I took my ball and went home. I tried to express to my friend that I was grateful this happened because I came away better for it. I’m not sure my message was received which is fine.

 Remember the post I did about birthdays? “Who is this older woman who suddenly appeared? Welcome her. She brings gifts of perspective and insight. She is your finest accomplishment. So far.”

Ten Things Tuesday

I got this off of a friends myspace, it has 10 categories so I thought it would work. Here goes.. 

LAST PERSON WHO

1. Slept in your bed besides you? Ugh, Mrs.Ex
2. Saw you cry:I don’t remember but I cried on the phone while talking to my friend Phattie
3. Went to the movies with you? MST
4. You went to the mall with? Boss
5. You went to dinner with? Boss
6. You talked on the phone? SLM2
7. Said ‘I love you’ to you and really meant it? Chili
8. Broke your heart? It doesn’t get broken, just bruised
9. Made you laugh? SLM2
WOULD YOU RATHER?

1. Pierce your nose or tongue? nose
2. Be serious or be funny? funny
3. Drink whole or skim milk? Skim
4. Die in a fire or drown? OMG.. drown
5. Spend time with your parents or enemies? Enemies!
ARE YOU..

1. Simple or complicated? simple
2. Gay? yes
3. Hardcore? Not really
DO YOU PREFER. .

1. Flowers or candy? Flowers
2. Gray or black? I own a lot of gray
3. Color or Black and white photos? Both..
4. Lust or love? love
5. Sunrise or sunset? sunrise
6. M&Ms or Skittles? M&Ms
8. Staying up late or waking up early? The early bird gets the fresh coffee!
ANSWER TRUTHFULLY !!

1. Do you like anyone? No, I hate everyone! Not like, like..
2. Do they know it? It would be weird if they did.
DO YOU PREFER…

1. Sun or moon? sun
2. Winter or Fall? Fall
3. Left or right? Right
4. 10 acquaintances or having two best friends? two best friends
5. Sun or rain? sun
6. Vanilla ice cream or chocolate ice cream? chocolate
7. Vodka or Jack? Vodka makes me evil
ABOUT YOU!

1. What time is it? 6:49 am
2. Name?Not tellin
3. Nickname(s): Auntie
4. Where were you born? A scary little town
5. What is your birthdate? 5/02
6. What do you want?Nothing really. Oh wait, an ipod touch!
7. Where do you want to live? right here
8. How many kids do you want? two
9. What would you want to name a girl? Elizabeth, Taylor, or Lily…
10. What would you want to name a boy? Not really sure. I’m pretty sure I’ll have girls anyway.
11. You want to get married? Yup
UNIQUE!

1. Nervous Habits: Bouncing my leg
2. Are you double jointed? nope
3. Can you roll your tongue? yes
4. Can you raise one eyebrow? no
5. Can you cross your eyes? yup
6. Do you make your bed daily? Yes!
8. Which shoe goes on first? whichever one I pick up first
9. Ever thrown one at someone? I don’t think so
10. On the average, how much money do you carry with you? under $20
11. What jewelry do you wear? Earrings, sometimes a bracelet, ring and necklace
OTHER

1. Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it? twirl
2. Have you ever eaten Spam? I tried it, it was gross
3. Favorite ice cream: Chocolate
4. How many kinds cereal are in your cabinet? Two
5. What’s your favorite beverage? Coffee
7. Do you cook? Yes
IN THE LAST MONTH, HAVE YOU? (YES OR NO)

1. Had a b/f or g/f? no
2. Bought something you didn’t need: yes, mocha lattes!
4. Sang in front of people: Friends in the car..
5. Been kissed: yes, on the cheek
6. Been hugged: yes
7. Felt stupid: No
8. Missed someone: yes
9. Got drunk: tipsy
10. Got high: no
11. Danced Crazy: I dance like a white chick
12. Gotten your hair cut: no, but I really need one. This growing it out thing is not working for me!!
13. Cried: yes
14. Lied: Just a white one

They gave up on me

 After two different antibiotics that caused two different(but equally disgusting) intestinal woes, the doctor has decided to stop medicating me. “How do you feel?” she asked. “I never felt sick to begin with.” I replied. “You have been on them for 5 days, you should be fine.” She said. “Good because this is the second day in a row I have been afraid to leave the house. I really need to go to work tomorrow.” I said.

 An interesting bit of irony is that I was reading about psychosomatic problems (which include, but are not limited to, stomach pain and diarrhea) while in the bathroom. Obviously my issues are not psychosomatic, I just figured if I was going to be in there for awhile I might as well be doing homework.

 The up side to all this is that I have not had hives in awhile.

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