Great Pats Jokes!

23 01 2008

 I sent out an email today and Kizz was one of the recipients of that email. I just got this reply from her; “Why is this not already a post on your blog?” A very good question! Sorry about the fonts, I don’t know how to fix it..

THE GOLDEN PHONE.

A man in Topeka ,Kansas decided to write a book about Churches around the country. He started by flying to San Francisco and started working east from there. Going to a very large church, he began taking photographs and  making notes. He spotted a golden telephone on the vestibule wall and was intrigued with a sign, which read ‘Calls: $10,000 a minute.’  Seeking out the pastor he asked about the phone and the sign. The pastor answered that this golden phone is, in fact, a direct line to heaven and if he pays the price he can talk directly to God. The man thanked the pastor and continued on his way. As he  continued to visit churches in Seattle , Dallas, St. Louis, Chicago, Milwaukee, and around the United States, he found more phones, with the same sign, and the same answer from each pastor. Finally, he arrived in Massachusetts   Upon entering a church in Boston, MA .. ……..Behold – he saw the usual golden telephone. But THIS time, the sign read “Calls: .35 cents.” Fascinated, he asked to talk to the pastor, “Reverend, I have  been in cities all across the country and in each church I have found this golden telephone and have been told it is a direct line to    Heaven and that I could talk to God, but in the other churches the cost was $10,000 a minute. Your sign reads only .35 cents a call. Why?    Why?” The pastor, smiling benignly, replied :

“Son, you’re in Boston, Massachusetts now, home of the Boston Red Sox, the Patriots, Celtics, Bruins and Boston College ! “

You’re in God’s Country, It’s a local call. 

( American by Birth – A BOSTON SPORT FAN  by the grace of GOD ! )

Then there is this one, which I think is better!

Peyton Manning, Tony Romo and Tom Brady are all standing in front of an empty table with God sitting at the head. 
God asks Peyton Manning first: “What do you believe?”
Peyton thinks long and hard, looks God in the eye, and says, “I believe in hard work, and in staying true to family and friends. I believe in giving.  I was lucky, but I always tried to do right by my fans.”God can’t help but see the essential goodness of Manning, and offers him a seat to his left.Then God turns to Tony Romo and says, “What do you believe?”Tony says, “I believe passion, discipline, courage and honor are the fundamentals of life.  I, too, have been lucky, but win or lose, I’ve always tried to be a true sportsman, both on and off the playing field.”God is greatly moved by Tony’s sincere eloquence, and he offers him a seat to his right.Finally, God turns to Tom Brady: “And you, Tom, what do you believe?”Tom replies, “I believe you’re in my seat.”

 
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5 responses

23 01 2008
Kizz

Ok, that second one is hilarious but a teensy bit appalling. The first one, though, is why I remain a New England fan no matter where I live.

24 01 2008
whodoesshethinksheisanyway

Kizz, when I read the second one I said “Oh no!” And covered my mouth in a bit of shock. Then I laughed out loud. I’m sure that if there is a hell I will be sent there!

24 01 2008
Kizz

I keep forgetting to ask, what’s up with Brady’s leg?

24 01 2008
whodoesshethinksheisanyway

They are saying he has a sprained ankle and WILL play.

24 01 2008
Kizz

It’s not this Sun, though, right? This week they rest and on the first Sun of Feb they bowl?

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