Who does she think she is anyway?

 Sorry I keep talking about this phone. When something weighs heavily on my mind I tend to talk it out. A lot.

 So today I went to the beach with the Room-Mate and two other peeps I haven’t thought of names for yet. We are out there having a good time talking, drinking beers, margaritas, and wine. Occasionally we get distracted by a overweight gay man in a speedo which makes me want to drink a bit more but whatever floats your boat I guess. Anyway, the Room-Mate says; “Was that lighting?” to which one of the gals replies; “There is supposed to be only a 10% chance of storms today.” What do I do? I whip out my phone and go to the national weather service page, type in our location and find that severe storms are heading our way. 

 We packed our shit and went home.

 When I got home I checked again. The area we were in was getting slammed with storms.

 Now, we are all smart enough to watch the sky. Also, the lifeguard blows a horn to alert people of storms. People still die from lightening strikes though so really, we could say that my phone may have saved our lives today, right?

Photo credit

 I am doing a guest blog over at Chili’s on the 28th. She already signed me in to her blog. What that means is every time I sign in to my blog hers comes up on my dashboard. It makes me want to go into hers and be a bratty little sister and mess with it. I won’t. I want to though.

Ten things about my iphone;

1.I love the map feature!

If you press the button in the lower left corner it tells you where you are. From there you can type in where you want to go and it maps out the route and gives you turn by turn directions to get you there. In addition to that, it continues to tell you where you are! There is a little pin that moves as you drive/walk. What I really like is that you can type in either an address or a category. For example, on Sunday the Room-Mate and I decided to hit some golf balls. I had it find my location then I typed “driving ranges” in the search box. Suddenly I had a list of driving ranges to pick from. I picked the closest one and it mapped my route! So cool!

 As a side note I did very well at the range. Mr. Chili would have been proud!

 Oh! Also you can type in an address and it gives you the option to add that address to your contacts. For example, the SLM’s just closed on their new house yesterday. Congratulations kids! SLM1 told me the address and with a couple of taps it was added to their contact info!

2. Text messages!

 It shows you the entire conversation you have had with the person which I think is a very cool feature. The keyboard is much easier to use than I thought it would be and it is smart. It tries  to guess the word you are typing. Handy for me because I am not so great (OK! I suck!) at spelling. 

3. Photos!

 At first I was thinking the camera was lame because it doesn’t let you zoom. I soon learned that after you take the picture you can zoom in on the specific part you want. As I said before, I wish it had the capacity to take videos. 

4. Internet!

 I can check my mail, the news, and sports scores. I have already used it to look up something for a client. No more “I’ll look it up and get back to you.”! Not only is it fun to use, it is making me more productive!

5. Instant weather for any city!

 It always says that it is 73 degrees. That will piss me off in the middle of winter when it is freezing cold and I want it to be 73.

6. I almost forgot. It’s a phone! The sound is very clear. I think it picks up to much background noise though. I like that I can add contacts to my favorite list. 

That makes it much easier to make a call.

7. Voice mail!

 I can listen to my messages in any order I want! All I have to do is tap the name and the message plays!

8. So I was driving home from work, talking on my phone when I saw this cute dog hanging out with the farmer. Wait! That’s not a dog! I gotta call you back!

Folks, that’s a coyote indicated by the yellow arrow. What troubled me was that he really didn’t care that there was a giant tractor (indicated by the red arrow) 75 yards away from him and a person in a car (sorry, no arrow) taking his picture with an iphone maybe 30 yards away from him. He looked thirsty. It was hot here today. I wanted to get out and give him some water but I thought better of it.

9. The customer service people never called me back so I called them this morning. They are not budging. I really don’t know what to do. I love the phone but it’s a lot of cake for someone in social service.. I am going to call Mr. Chili later and ask his advice. I don’t usually ask for advice but I am struggling with this one…

10. The battery sucks! I have turned off all the things I don’t use all the time and only turn them on when I need to. Wi-Fi, 3G, Blue Tooth. I even turned down the brightness. Granted, I am playing with it a lot. It’s new for crying out loud! Still, I would like to see it last more then a day.

Photo Credit

 I am not one to brag and I like to think of myself as a simple girl. I don’t have a lot of stuff. For me, less is more. In addition to that, I am not a fan of spending a lot of money on things and when I am about to make a purchases, I always ask myself if I really need the thing I am about to buy. For example, on my last trip to the Old Navy I bought a pair of shorts for $11.99, and two pair of work pants. One at $15.99 and one at $ 7.99. I hate paying full price.

 Have a seat folks, you may not believe what I did.. I bought the iphone. I know, I said I was going to do it. Here is the thing though. Because I just bought a phone in March (because the phone I had was not working properly) I was not eligible for the subsidized price of $199. I was very angry to say the least. The nice girl at the apple store called AT&T for me to try to work something out. When she couldn’t I spoke to them. I said things like “The ad says twice as fast, half the price. No where does it say if you are NOT eligible for a contract upgrade you have to pay $399…. So what you are telling me is that because I have been a customer for about ten years is that I am getting penalized for it. I wouldn’t have stood in line for an hour if I had known that…” I talked to a supervisor. When that didn’t work I asked to speak to another one. The lady said that because of unusually high call volume they would have to call me back within 24 hours. Well AT&T, that wouldn’t have happened if you and Apple were clear in your advertising!! I still haven’t gotten the call.. 

 So what was I to do?!! When I am in trouble with technology I call Mr. Chili. I explained my situation. Do I buy it and fight it or do I wait. At first he said wait and then he got a brilliant idea.

“Buy it! You have 30 days to return it. Check their policy first though to be sure.”

 Great idea Mr. Chili! I bought it and it turns out I have 14 days. Bastids!

 The thing is, I love this phone! I called him the next day and told him that I loved it so much that I just may keep it even if they don’t give me my 200 bucks back. It is the coolest phone ever. My God I love this phone. I can’t believe I am saying that I love a phone.

 TTT tomorrow is going to be about my phone so be prepared!

I was too tired after my camping trip to write anything so here is my late TTT;

1. Camping was a ton of fun!

2. I spent a good amount of time relaxing. Observe!

2. I also did some kayaking with Auntie Teacher and the boys. The young ones did a fine job paddling and they did a great job listening to my instructions. Auntie Teacher was able to get in and out of her boat without flipping it! Little Boss got in on the action, too!

3. Boss and Little Boss came by Monday morning with home fries and coffee! Boss also cooked the eggs! Thanks Boss!!!

4. Little Boss had a pretty good wipe out. She was sitting on a blanket and maybe reached for something (?) and landed on her forehead. She scraped it a bit and it was all red. She only cried for a few seconds though, she is one tough nut! When I used to do the hardcore mountain biking thing with the guys the game was the first one who bleeds wins! She bled first so she won!

5. The kids weren’t as interested in my book as I thought they would be. They did successfully identify a sapling though. I wasn’t as enthusiastic as I usually am. I was doing something else at the time although I don’t remember what. I pretty much handed them the book and said “Here! Go find something!”.

6. The SLM’s seemed to enjoy themselves. SLM1 did way better then I thought she would. She is pretty girly so I wasn’t sure how she would like it. SLM2 came with a hurt shoulder and ended up going to the doctor when she got home. I think she would have had a much better time if she was feeling better. She didn’t even go out in my kayak. Bummer.

7. Yesterday my body was tired. I love the way that feels. It meant I had a full couple of days of kayaking, swimming and fresh air! I spent most of the day floating around the pool.

8. After much thought, I have decided to not get my iphone when the store opens. Doing so would totally mess up my day. In addition to that, if I got it before work, I would be playing with it and not get much actual work done. I will go after work and hopefully they won’t be sold out.

9. So for those of you who don’t really know baseball, what you need to understand is that Tampa Bay, until this year, has sucked big time. They have been the laughing stock of MLB for years. Remember the conversation the judge had with dumb ass Mr. Traitor? Well, today it continued. Please note that the Yankees played Tampa Bay last night.

“Good morning Mr. Traitor! I am rooting for your team this week! I am happy they won last night and I hope they win today!” He says with a playful grin on his face.

“Good morning your Honor! Are you aware that your team is three games behind TAMPA BAY!!”

The court room was filled with nervous laughter. Someone said out loud “Oh no.” and I thought in my head that I couldn’t believe this kid just said that to the judge. His grin faded to a very stern look. Although I am sure it was only a second or two, the two of them stared at each other for what seemed like forever. Good God! What was the judge going to say to that?!

“Yes I am Mr. Traitor. How many games is your team back?” The playfulness returned.

Silence in the court room.

“Do you know? Seven I believe. We’ll just see where we all stand next week, won’t we?”

Both the Sox and the Spankees won today. That puts us at two games back and them at six and a half.

10. I got picked to do a guest post over at Chili’s place. Insert evil laughter here!

 I am off to go camping until Tuesday!! If I am not to tired, I will post something then. I am sure I will have funny stories to tell because Auntie Teacher is going and she is always good for a laugh! In fact, I sent her an email the other day telling her not to worry because I will remove any and all bugs that find their way into her tent. When I spoke to her on Friday she thanked me for that.

 Hope you all have a good couple of days!

 Wow! I haven’t written a post in a long time! I have been super busy at work this past week. I have a ton of new clients. New clients usually require a lot of my time. I am happy to report that most of my clients are doing extremely well. Even Intake Boy! He has turned out to be one of the nicest young men that I have met in a really long time!

 A super late TTT;

1. As I said, work has been really busy. Even so, all I have been able to think about is going camping!

 This is the tent I have. Notice in the 2nd picture how the rain fly goes all the way to the bottom? It’s hard to find tents with full coverage rain flies these days. I spent a little extra money on this beauty but she has not let me down. Last year I went camping with Boss. It rained the entire time. I, and my stuff, stayed completely dry! While I was in the tent anyway..

2. I am camping with Auntie Teacher, the SLM’s, and their boys. The kids have never been camping before and I am excited to teach them stuff! I am going to teach them how to SAFELY make a fire and all the responsibilities that come with having a campfire, and I plan on teaching them how to identify all kinds of plants and animals. 

 I love this book! It lives in the car so I always have it. The boys are pretty good about sitting through my spontaneous lessons about stuff. I am not one to just show kids how to do something. I like to get them to try and logically figure stuff out on their own and help them work the step as needed. My plan is to show them how to use this book, send them out (but stay close!) and drink a cold beer while waiting for them to call me when they have found and possibly identified something interesting. There are rules though. 1. Do not kill anything. 2. DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT bring back any snakes!! I hate snakes!

3.

 My kayak! I have not been out in it yet this year and I am so looking forward to being out on the lake!

4. In addition to being excited about going camping, I am also looking forward to this;

 It comes out July 11th. I can’t wait! I have been debating for awhile now about getting this or not. I’m doing it. It has several awesome features including google maps. I have wanted some kind of GPS for some time now. My phone pulls up maps but it is really hard to use and does not show your current location. I don’t want an in car GPS. They get stolen in record numbers. Currently, my most used navigation system is Mrs. Chili. When she is available, she is wicked reliable. Turn by turn directions at at there best!

“Chili, Google me!”

“Where are you?”

“282 Broadway.”

“Ok, where are you going?”

” 87 Pine.”

“One second.. Got ya! Ok, take a left on Adams..”

 See what I mean! She is great. The iphone won’t give me audible turn by turn but it is the next best thing. Yes, I do have a map in the car and yes, I do use it. Sometimes I am in a hurry though or  I am walking so it a real map is just not practicle.

5. Kizz’s show is today! Me and Chili are heading down. I haven’t seen Kizz since last summer and I have not seen her preform in several years. I am super excited!

6. I am thinking about going to the Tea dance tonight. It has been awhile since I have had some dyke drama!

7. We have had a lot of rain in the past couple of weeks. My plants and veggies have not gotten enough sun and as a consequence, are not doing as well as I had hoped. All is not lost though! My tomatoes are getting flowers!

And this guy seems pretty happy!

8. The room-mate likes it when I do tricks off the diving board. “Auntie! Do a trick!” she yells when I get up there. For YEARS I thought she liked to see my flip. Flips are not easy. It is tough to land feet first. Belly flops hurt. Back flops hurt more. Last night she wanted a trick so I did a flip. 

” You know Auntie, what I really like is your jack knife.”

 Are you kidding me! All this time I have been trying to impress her with a freaking flip and she want’s a dive! Ugh!

9. After that we entertained ourselves by trying to hit foam golf balls into the cockpit of my kayak. She didn’t have the right tool for the job; a driver. I used a wedge. I only got one in but had a ton that were close. She was close too considering she had the wrong club. We tried direct shots as well as using the house as a back board. I pitched a few on the roof in hopes they would roll in. No luck.

10. Crap! It is 7am and I have a ton of stuff to do before I meet Chili! Gotta run! Have a great weekend!

Photo credit; Tent, Field Guide, Kayak, Iphone

 Today is Mr. and Mrs. Chili’s anniversary. Go on over and wish them a happy day!

 I know a ton of people who do not like their in-laws. I love my brother in-law. Simply stated, I couldn’t have picked a better husband for my sister or a better father for my nieces. 

 In addition to him being a great man, they are a great couple. I admire their relationship and I aspire to have one that is similar. 

 Happy Anniversary kids! I love you both!

Image credit

Please go here and read this. Please gather all the stuff you do not use and put it in a bag. Please buy what ever you can. Anything will help I think. If you live close to me, bring it to me or ask me to pick it up. I will ship it. I will pay for shipping. If you do not live close to me, please ship it. Thank you.

 Dear Co-Worker(s)-

 I have a few things on my mind that I feel I need to express to you. First of all, when I came into work yesterday at 7 am, I observed my salad dressing sitting on the table in the staff lounge. It is important for you to understand that pulling the post-it note I taped to the bottle with my name on it off of aforementioned bottle does not make it yours! Have you noticed the sign on the refrigerator door? It clearly asks us to write our name on our belongings.

 The thing is, I don’t mind sharing. In fact, I rather enjoy it. Perhaps you ordered a salad and they sent you the wrong dressing or maybe they didn’t send you any dressing. Certainly you may use some of mine! Please don’t make it a habit though, I am not willing to buy it for you all the time. Since I am willing to share, there is no reason to remove my name from it.

 Also, for the love of all things good, please put it away when you are done! When I left the building at 8:35, the bottle was still on the table. I am guessing you probably ate it around 11 ish. I can only come to this conclusion because there was take out Chinese food on the table as well. That would mean that my dressing has been sitting out for 8 plus hours. That shit goes bad. So now, I have no dressing and I have to buy more. When I do, it will be easy to identify. 

 Do you notice how the post-it doesn’t stick well? That is why I taped it! On the top. And the bottom. Don’t even try to tell me the fargin post-it fell off and you didn’t know who it belonged to!

 As I already mentioned, you left your (and my) food on the table. I would like to take a moment to point out to you that the cleaning crew is not maid service. It is not their job to pick up after you. The mess you left was disgusting and it was totally ignorant of you to leave it for someone else to clean. I would hate to see what your house looks like. 

 To summarize, don’t take shit that doesn’t belong to you (or at the very least use a small amount and put it back where you found it) and pick up after yourself!

 Thank you,

Auntie