Not So Much…

… in Maine.

 

Photo Credit

Not So Wordless

Kizz is home sick today and asked her readers to ask her some questions. I asked one that I am answering here;

My attempt to bring a smile to my friends face. Sorry Kizz, it’s the best I can do today.

In other news, which if you clicked on the link to Kizz’s blog you already know, the Chili family lost a four legged member today. Show her some love, would ya?

Not Ready

I received the following text message from The Girl at 5:22 am;

“Snowing fucking snowing”

She was on her way to work. I replied;

“It won’t stick.”

“It’s fucking snowing!”

I called her because I thought she was stressed about driving in it.

” I’m not stressed. My friend at Dunks said it has been snowing since 2:30. It’s October 16th!”

It’s to soon for snow, people. To soon.

Happy Friday.

Quote of The Week

I have been thinking for a while now that I am going to start posting some of the funny shit I hear. I hear a lot of funny shit. One can’t work with the population that I do without running into some characters who say things that either make me ’bout pee my pants laughing or look at them and wonder what the farg they were thinking. The following falls into the “what the farg were you thinking” category;

“You might want to check in on her every once in a while and make sure she is still breathing.”

WHAT?!

What!

Really? How is it possible that you hold the position you do?

Did I mention this was said to an intern? The poor thing was probably ready to lose her lunch.

I don’t know, but I would think that if you are concerned the client will stop breathing, don’t ya think it might be a good idea to maybe send her to the hospital?!

But what do I know? I’m just a lowly counselor.

Image credit

Ten Thingies

The Girl and I had date day on Sunday. We went up to Ogunquit Maine for a few hours, strolled around, took some pictures, and drank coffee. Here are some pics from our trip;

1.

We had breakfast in Portsmouth. This dude was at our table.

2.

A view from the Marginal Way

3.

The Path

4.

Sometimes I can get a pretty good shot with my phone.

5.

We walked out of the coffee shop at Perkin's Cove because the lady was rude. The man in the photo was not.

Sorry. Wrong photo… See below for the nice man.

6.

7.

8.

Some of the shops are as small as our guest bedroom. Sometimes I just stay outside and take pictures of flowers while The Girl looks around.

9.

No offense to our neighbors to the north (Hi Bitch!), but the Canadians seem to have a hard time parking.

Dude, your car is half the size as mine! I managed to fit in between you and the van on the other side. WTF!

10.

Happy Tuesday! Peace out, Peeps!

There’s An App For That

But I can’t make it work.

In other news, I inadvertently left a picture out of my last post.

Happy Friday.

The Joys of Working In A Detox

My work cares about good hygiene. Observe;

All of these hand washing posters are in the woman’s bathroom that is attached to the staff lounge. In addition to these posters, we have received a number of emails regarding H1N1. They tell us to cover our coughs and sneezes, not to use others phones or key boards, stay home of we are sick, and of course, wash our hands.

They ought to put up a couple of posters that say;

Don’t Leave A Cup of Piss On The Table In The Bathroom!

Granted, this was in the upstairs staff bathroom, but still.  I suppose if one is having a bad hair day, one could sprinkle a little piss on their hair and then use the brush they provide for us.

I’m Still Here

I know it’s been a long time since I last wrote. Sorry ’bout that, I’ve been busy. As I have said before, I do a lot of writing for school which means I don’t feel like writing for fun. People have been asking about what I have been up to so here you go, in no particular order;

• The Girl celebrated here 33 trip around the sun on the 19th. Happy Birthday again Luv Muffin! To celebrate we went to her favorite  restaurant to have dinner with the SLM family. A good time was had by all! The next day, her actual birthday,  we did some shopping then went down to visit with her Nana, then dinner with her parents, sisters, one bro-in law, two nieces,and a nephew. Oh, and a player to be named later as she will become an Auntie for the fourth time in early November! Any way, her mom made a delicious chicken dinner which The Girl ate NONE of because she is a VEGAN! Nope, my girl had a big old plate of broccoli!  Yum!
• 
• Mr. Chili treated me to a Sox game this month! I had a fantastic time with him and decided that we should try to hang out more often. Thanks again Mr. C!
• Bean requested a “Just you and me day”. She wants to try out her new ice skates. I may have to pull the little bugger out of school for a couple of hours to do it though. Beaner, if you are reading,  I haven’t forgotten about you.
• Speaking of school, I have an unbelievable amount of work to do before now and May. My school holds graduations 4 times a year but if you wanna walk, you need to do it in May and you have to need no more than 6 credits. When speaking to my adviser this past weekend, she told me not to stress out about it and to take my time. I informed her that my family and friends have been SO supportive of me that I would feel like I was letting them down if I didn’t give them the chance to see me get that damn piece of paper. It’s going to be a lot of work, but I am pretty sure I can do it.
• Speaking of school again, I am going to end up with a $4,000 bill that financial aid won’t pay. The good news is is that I need to take some sort of art type of class. This includes dance. I figure if I take the pole dancing class I can head on over to the local strip joint and put my education to work and earn some cash to pay the bill!
• Punkin’, who I have been referring to as Punk, and I have had some serious grown up conversations. This kid is really blowing my mind and we are now leaving the safety and comfort of the “Auntie is someone fun to play with” zone and into the “Auntie is the person I talk to about peer relationships, boys, and menstrual cycles” zone. As scary as it is that she is becoming a young woman so quickly, it is also a privilege and pleasure to be a person she trusts to talk to about the tough stuff.
• As I sit in the office writing this, The Girl is watching the Sox in the living room. Boy do love this girl!
• Please know that I am still reading your blogs. I have sucked at commenting but I promise I am reading.
• Speaking of school again, I saw this cute guy and his dad on my way to school last month;

If you look close, you can see that he is strapped to his dads waist. Also please note the cool shades. When they were moving, he would lay down on the blanket that is over the gas tank and hang his head over the side so that he got maximum wind. When I pulled along side of them, he was standing up, looking through the windshield. I swear on all that I love that when I asked his dad if I could take their picture, he leaned into his pop and looked right at me. What a ham.

• The Girl beat me in a round of Putt-Putt with this stance and form;

Everything she learned about golf she learned from the movie Happy Gilmore. She kicked my ass. I have no other words.

• Every week someone says something to me that I declare the quote of the week. I keep meaning to post them but I never get around to it. Maybe a TTT? Anyway, my little friend Punk had a good one. When telling me about her first big kid dance she said; “Auntie! There is this dance called Grinding. Have you ever heard of it?”
• That’s all for tonight, folks. This kid is going to have some ice cream and call it a night.

I Have an Awesome Rack

I gotta be quick here. The Girl is out shopping and I am supposed to be getting ready for a BBQ with her family.

So yesterday we went up to the lake with the Chilis. Mr. Chili was working on a new cross bar system for the top of my car so I could safely transport my kayak. It wasn’t done so I strapped the boat to the roof as best I could. I am not kidding when I say I thought I was going to throw up when we were on the highway. Although I strapped it very tightly, I was afraid something bad would happen and the boat would end up going through someones windshield.

I was stressed, The Girl was stressed. It was not pretty.

The Chilis wanted us to stop at their house. I wanted to go right to the lake and get the damn boat off my car. Did I mention that I scratched the crap out of my roof? I did. Anyway, Mr. Chili calls, tells me I’m impossible, then tells me he will meet me someplace because they have a birthday/Christmas present for me. I agree, thinking that he finished my cross bar. Not. So. Much.

When we get to the house, I am given this;

My dream rack! The best of the best in kayak transport! I still can’t believe it.

Mr. Chili installing the cross bars

He has nice legs! Anyway, the Chilis bought the rack, The Girl bought the cross bars. I still can’t believe it!

Uncle Chili helped too. Punkin made sure they didn't eff it up

Is this a dream?

Loading the boat!

The whole rack comes down to the side of the car for easy loading! Please watch this video to see just how cool this rack is! I am so happy! I have the best rack ever! again to the Chilis and The Girl!

What the…?

The Girl and I went to the chiropractor on Friday. I haven’t been in a long time and although Auntie Teacher does a fine job adjusting me, I needed professional help. The new doc took x-rays, put them up, and walked out to get something. I was horrified at what I saw.

What the fuck is that? A safety pin?

This is my spine. When I saw this x-ray I could not figure out what the object in the middle was.  Did a piece of the camera fall off and get lodged in me when I had my upper endoscopy three years ago? Did I swallow something?

When the doc came back in, I inturupted her mid-sentance to ask what the hell that thing was.

“It’s your belly button ring.”

Duh! It never crossed my mind that it could be something on the outside of my body. I is a college kid!

While we are discussing unidentified objects, can someone please tell me what the white stuff is on this Daisy-ish plant?

Thanks, peeps!